Yes, it pre-dates the gift card (and gift) industry. I seem to recall being told it was to allow servants to go home to see their mothers. See how vaguely I framed that.
I lost my father last year because of complications from severe Alzheimer's. When I saw this, I thought my mother is still with us, and I need to be grateful for that. I love you mum!
Apparently, according to wikipedia, we have a "mother's day" in the first sunday in may. I've seen nothing in the news about it and wasn't aware of its existence.
March 8 is international women’s day. The most ignored of all holidays by US culture. To an almost hilarious degree.
My partner frequently brags that she’s the only of her friends and coworkers, in 10+ years, who has ever gotten flowers for women’s day. Meanwhile even Uber drivers have wished her a happy women’s day in various heavy foreign accents.
Like May 1st which is snubbed in favor of (non-organized?) Labor Day, and, well, the metric system which has somehow still not been adopted in the US...
Quick reminder that not all mothers are good people that we must keep in touch with. For people recovering from a rough childhood, here are a couple of resources that may be useful to you:
1. "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Gibson.
Thank you for the acknowledgement of this. Mother's Day can be intensely painful for people who had or have abusive or neglectful mothers. I think this should be acknowledged before the blanket advice of "call your mom" is given.
She can hate the things you do and still love who you are. Shining your light where it's cold and dark is the only way to make the darkness go away. Hope this helps
My mom is fine, but my grandmother has said exceedingly racist to my wife and homophobic to my sister. I haven't talked to her in years and I suspect I will not for the rest of her life.
People act like I am a douche for this, but at this point I really see three options here. A) I roll my eyes and let her spew her stupid racist bullshit and move on, B) I push back, start an argument, and really upset my mother (whom I do like), or C) drop contact with her. C seems like the least-bad option.
Kids owe their parents nothing. Not a single person on this planet asked to be born. If a parent (or grandparent) does something bad, the onus is not on the child to make things "right".
People act like you have to love your family no matter what, but I think that's pretty naive. If literally anyone I didn't share DNA with said something racist about my wife then no one would give me shit for not talking to them, but suddenly because I'm related to them I just have to let this bullshit slide? Fuck that bullshit.
I don't mean to be a douche, but that's an exceedingly ignorant and short-sighted statement. A child doesn't owe their parents anything. If your parent is upset about something about you that you cannot change, then that parent can rightfully go fuck themselves.
I contemplating writing a reply suggesting maybe a text or email instead, but I don't know enough about OP's situation so I don't think it's appropriate to give any advice.
Maybe there is a time for difficult outreach, but recommending someone to celebrate a person (and one of the most significant people in their life) whose primary emotion is disgust in response to unchosen personal attributes is remarkably insensitive. No need to salt those wounds.
Let's hope things get better for anyone in this circumstance, but IMO it is the parent's job to make an attempt.
--
Nobody wants to or tries to be this kind of person, so here is my shout out today to the moms who DID find a way to work through the challenge of accepting a child whose sexuality, spirituality, politics, etc. are different than they hoped for.
this is all a big conspiracy by big greeting card to sell more short-lived shit at inflated prices, on an fabricated urgent schedule, to faintly desperate offspring trying to make amends for a shocking childhood and lacklustre adult life
This is the first year when I can’t do that.
Please go do it on my behalf, while it’s possible.
Coming up on 3 years here. I felt this. Can also confirm this is based advice.
My second. Most of the time it's fine, but... today it hit me. I don't have a mother anymore.
So, yeah. Call while you can.
Unless you're in the UK in which case it was the 15th March and you've already done it (or already missed it)
Yeah I learned that today! I wonder what's the reason behind the difference.
And if you’re French, don’t worry, you didn’t miss it.
It’s the 31st of May
Fourth Sunday in Lent or something, very easy to forget it!
Yes, it pre-dates the gift card (and gift) industry. I seem to recall being told it was to allow servants to go home to see their mothers. See how vaguely I framed that.
Lost my mom 17 years ago. Don't be a chump; one day she won't be here and you will miss her in ways you never could have imagined.
Before I got married and had kids I thought it was a dumb Hallmark holiday.
Now I think it's really significant and important to have an official day dedicated to recognize all the moms out there.
Happy mother's day to all the moms out there. And all the guys that made them moms :)
Happy mother's day to any mothers here!
Happy Mothers Day to all the moms on HN
And Latvia
Is it always May 10 in the countries where it's now? In Spain is the first Sunday of the month.
Second Sunday of May in the US
Why do they do this? Why not just have a fixed date for these things? Is it so people can use the weekend to celebrate?
For Mother's Day, possibly, but it's not always the case. Thanksgiving is on the 4th Thursday of November.
Yes
In Poland it's on 26th of May.
Like in Portugal, I guess it is an Iberian thing.
I lost my father last year because of complications from severe Alzheimer's. When I saw this, I thought my mother is still with us, and I need to be grateful for that. I love you mum!
I'll have a drink in her memory.
I'm sorry for your loss.
(in the US)
And a bunch of other countries like Switzerland, Tanzania, Belgium, India, Greece, Hong Kong, etc. [0]
[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day#Dates_around_th...
And China, India, and many other large countries. Most of the world (by population) celebrates it today.
(and The Netherlands)
(and New Zealand)
(and Australia)
(+ Germany and Mexico)
(and India)
(And Venezuela)
(and Brazil)
(and South Africa)
(And Canada)
How is it mother day isn't that 8 march
March 8th is International Women's Day (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Women%27s_Day).
Mother’s Day is different from country to country (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day)
Apparently, according to wikipedia, we have a "mother's day" in the first sunday in may. I've seen nothing in the news about it and wasn't aware of its existence.
8 March was an entirely different animal...
March 8 is international women’s day. The most ignored of all holidays by US culture. To an almost hilarious degree.
My partner frequently brags that she’s the only of her friends and coworkers, in 10+ years, who has ever gotten flowers for women’s day. Meanwhile even Uber drivers have wished her a happy women’s day in various heavy foreign accents.
I feel some editorializing going on.
Here[0] is a list of many holidays that are ignored more than international women’s day.
Happy International Day of Plant Health to you!
0: https://www.un.org/en/observances/list-days-weeks
international day of plant health is on may 12, not today!
November 19 is international men's day. How many times have you gotten flowers on that day? Or Uber drivers wishing you a happy men's day?
lol. why arent we celebrated more
Like May 1st which is snubbed in favor of (non-organized?) Labor Day, and, well, the metric system which has somehow still not been adopted in the US...
International men's day isn't a thing in the US either, so that's not surprising. Contrast to Mother's/Father's Day, which are.
// My partner frequently brags
March 8th is for the partners, mother's day is for the wives :)
Just kidding but couldn't resist.
I wouldn’t say that. I don’t believe a men’s day even exists.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Men%27s_Day
Respect. It's a good day to remember the impact they had even if they are no longer around to pick up the phone. Btw calling her now.
I am happy for all those who celebrate.
Quick reminder that not all mothers are good people that we must keep in touch with. For people recovering from a rough childhood, here are a couple of resources that may be useful to you:
1. "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Gibson.
2. https://old.reddit.com/r/AdultChildren+CPTSD+raisedbynarciss...
Thank you for the acknowledgement of this. Mother's Day can be intensely painful for people who had or have abusive or neglectful mothers. I think this should be acknowledged before the blanket advice of "call your mom" is given.
Not everywhere, in Portugal it is the first May's Sunday.
I have just come to HN from I was actually helping my mother in pressing legs as her legs sometimes hurt from pain :-(
Gonna go help my mom again in massaging her legs, Okay shes asking me to help now, bye!
thx, I almost missed it
She despises me for being gay. Not a chance I'm calling her.
Not all moms are good people. People with good moms often have trouble understanding or respecting that.
Every parent in Asia would despise their son if they were gay. That does not make them bad parents.
[delayed]
This is patently and absurdly false.
Yes it does.
Give her a call regardless. Perhaps that's the first step to letting it sink in for her that you actually care about her.
Bad advice when you don't know the situation. It's never a child's job to fix an abusive parent.
She can hate the things you do and still love who you are. Shining your light where it's cold and dark is the only way to make the darkness go away. Hope this helps
My mom is fine, but my grandmother has said exceedingly racist to my wife and homophobic to my sister. I haven't talked to her in years and I suspect I will not for the rest of her life.
People act like I am a douche for this, but at this point I really see three options here. A) I roll my eyes and let her spew her stupid racist bullshit and move on, B) I push back, start an argument, and really upset my mother (whom I do like), or C) drop contact with her. C seems like the least-bad option.
Kids owe their parents nothing. Not a single person on this planet asked to be born. If a parent (or grandparent) does something bad, the onus is not on the child to make things "right".
People act like you have to love your family no matter what, but I think that's pretty naive. If literally anyone I didn't share DNA with said something racist about my wife then no one would give me shit for not talking to them, but suddenly because I'm related to them I just have to let this bullshit slide? Fuck that bullshit.
I'm sorry :-(
You should call her
I don't mean to be a douche, but that's an exceedingly ignorant and short-sighted statement. A child doesn't owe their parents anything. If your parent is upset about something about you that you cannot change, then that parent can rightfully go fuck themselves.
Kids don't owe their parents anything.
I contemplating writing a reply suggesting maybe a text or email instead, but I don't know enough about OP's situation so I don't think it's appropriate to give any advice.
Hard disagree.
Maybe there is a time for difficult outreach, but recommending someone to celebrate a person (and one of the most significant people in their life) whose primary emotion is disgust in response to unchosen personal attributes is remarkably insensitive. No need to salt those wounds.
Let's hope things get better for anyone in this circumstance, but IMO it is the parent's job to make an attempt.
--
Nobody wants to or tries to be this kind of person, so here is my shout out today to the moms who DID find a way to work through the challenge of accepting a child whose sexuality, spirituality, politics, etc. are different than they hoped for.
... why?
Lol. Call her and put on a heavy lisp
Appreciate the reminder,small post,big impact.Happy Mother's day to all moms here.
this is all a big conspiracy by big greeting card to sell more short-lived shit at inflated prices, on an fabricated urgent schedule, to faintly desperate offspring trying to make amends for a shocking childhood and lacklustre adult life
do not fall for the bait
You can make your own cards, and calling doesn't require you to buy any cards. I imagine receiving a call is more enjoyable than receiving a card.
Just a phone-call, it's not hard. Don't need to buy anything.
On the scale of 1 through 10 how happy is your wife with you in general? :)
And some people really sound like they were born from a hatcher.