Hard disagree on number 4. Open-ended questions that facilitate conversation are ideal. (They are an art form in themselves.) Since we're being analytical, you need a scaffold for the conversation, and questions are a better way to build it.
Maybe I’m misinterpreting "early on." I guess their point holds for the first 500 words or so.
I take it to mean upsetting the flow of conversation.
For example, suppose you're at a party, talking in depth about a football team's season and they say something unrelated like "Oh by the way have you seen John?". It is usually a polite way to try to wrap up a conversation. A polite response would be something that graciously gives them permission to change the subject or leave, for example, "I think I saw him outside, maybe go take a look?".
Sometimes it takes the form of bored body language and sentences that don't lead the conversation onwards, e.g. "Yeah that's crazy" or "Well, what can you do...". In that scenario I like to give the conversation a respectable death, e.g. "Well, all we can do is hope for a better season in 2027!".
I take it to mean that non-verbal language like either turning toward or turning away indicates whether the person likes you and wants to be in your presence. If you have a signal that you've built rapport don't screw it up by breaking that trust.
Could be missing a social cue like a pleasantly phrased/spoken: "this subject makes me uncomfortable." Perhaps interpreting that as just participation in the conversation on the subject.
Continuing to talk about said subject, ignoring their cue, would break the trust (rapport).
i'll give it a shot: you and i meet and start to talk about the weather, then slowly get to some personal questions, and i mention that i prefer quieter places when talking to people.
later, when going out with friends, if i ask "where should we go to talk", and you suggest someplace obviously loud and not great for conversation, this could be seen as a mild form of misunderstanding something i communicated previously about a personal preference in a given situation: breaking rapport
https://web.archive.org/web/20260515105039/https://liamrosen... if useful
Thanks! The site got hugged to HTTP 500 death.
This is a great list. I didn't disagree with a single point. Some of those lessons took me far too many years to learn myself.
Hard disagree on number 4. Open-ended questions that facilitate conversation are ideal. (They are an art form in themselves.) Since we're being analytical, you need a scaffold for the conversation, and questions are a better way to build it.
Maybe I’m misinterpreting "early on." I guess their point holds for the first 500 words or so.
They mention 'breaking rapport' a few times. I'd really appreciate if someone could explain to an ASD person what that looks like. Genuine question
I take it to mean upsetting the flow of conversation.
For example, suppose you're at a party, talking in depth about a football team's season and they say something unrelated like "Oh by the way have you seen John?". It is usually a polite way to try to wrap up a conversation. A polite response would be something that graciously gives them permission to change the subject or leave, for example, "I think I saw him outside, maybe go take a look?".
Sometimes it takes the form of bored body language and sentences that don't lead the conversation onwards, e.g. "Yeah that's crazy" or "Well, what can you do...". In that scenario I like to give the conversation a respectable death, e.g. "Well, all we can do is hope for a better season in 2027!".
I take it to mean that non-verbal language like either turning toward or turning away indicates whether the person likes you and wants to be in your presence. If you have a signal that you've built rapport don't screw it up by breaking that trust.
Could be missing a social cue like a pleasantly phrased/spoken: "this subject makes me uncomfortable." Perhaps interpreting that as just participation in the conversation on the subject.
Continuing to talk about said subject, ignoring their cue, would break the trust (rapport).
i'll give it a shot: you and i meet and start to talk about the weather, then slowly get to some personal questions, and i mention that i prefer quieter places when talking to people.
later, when going out with friends, if i ask "where should we go to talk", and you suggest someplace obviously loud and not great for conversation, this could be seen as a mild form of misunderstanding something i communicated previously about a personal preference in a given situation: breaking rapport