I've realized over time that I don't live the most...focused, goal-oriented life; a lot of what I decide to do is constrained by what I can or cannot do. If I don't have the money, I don't do the thing. If I do and someone asks, or I'm feeling a little impulsive, I will.
In the digital world, there was a ton of stuff I was interested in doing but was unable to accomplish, either because I didn't have the technical knowledge or the time to do it.
AI makes you feel like anything is possible! A lot of people aren't used to the mental model of "having a team of people who can do stuff for you", and there's definitely a way we can get lost in that.
I'm thankful I have a wife that drags me out of my office enough that I think I've reasonably kept in touch with reality, ha.
> I've realized over time that I don't live the most...focused, goal-oriented life; a lot of what I decide to do is constrained by what I can or cannot do.
The human experience. We all share it, many of us spend a lot of time ignoring it or pretending we can overcome it. There are many ways to describe it, and I'm happy for you that you can see it.
I can understand that some people feel this way, but it still shocks me how common this feeling is.
I feel the complete opposite. I used to spend hours reading and figuring things out on my computer, but since AI I can't wait to log off and get back to the real world.
The article highlights an actual issue. It sure feels like dotcom boom again (kids don't remember)... Everything is buzzing and demanding to be on the edge. Everything is developing except the real world us.
Yup, this is definitely the latest gold rush. And there will be a lot of losers and some winners, just like every other time.
And anyone who feels the floor being taken out from under them will feel the pressure to join the gold rush, just like every other time.
And it's going to put unnatural pressures on relationships and families, and even destroy a lot of them, just like every other time.
And people will feel resentful and alone and confused, and say that things shouldn't be this way - it's not fair the way things are and where they're going. Just like every other time.
My sympathies go with those who are suffering under this, but when forces beyond your control are threatening your livelihood, you do what you must and hope for the best.
And when there is a gold rush going on, be the one selling the shovels.
I didn't read everything but the article didn't seem to give any details about what's special about AI vs any other obsession anyone might have. If anything, I think it applies more to things like videogames or social networks, I feel they're more addictive and demanding of your time.
The major difference the article presents is the scale of it (in the Bay Area). It is one thing if it is just one or two households in your social circle, it's another if it's half or so.
This is a sub-variant of "phone addiction", isn't it. Or maybe just "guy is really, really into hobby to obsessional levels, to the detriment of the rest of his life". A pattern that pre-dates computers.
Because goal is to trigger emotional/tribal response from both sides and thus better "engagement" all while using proven and well established tropes like "he doesnt want to do what she wants", "toddler", "lazy bum vs overworked" etc
I work remotely and use the 5-hour limits as a way to avoid AI addiction, seeing them as the world giving a sign to touch grass, be with the wife and so on. This way, they feel more of a blessing than a curse.
> I should also say I didn’t bother speaking to any of the actual husbands for this story. I’m sick of hearing from the men of AI.
That's quite a line after half a page of inferring said men's inner workings and motivations from what their wives and their wives' therapists say about them (quite cynically i might add)
> A tiktok meme has been making the rounds recently: young women at their laptops or doing their makeup, captioned something like, “Working so hard so my man can work on his AI startup that loses $30K a month.” The comments section stands in solidarity: “I’m ded.” “Yas queen.” “Just so he can have ‘founder’ in his bio.” I tried to reach out to some of these women. None bit.
That might be because this person doesn't even exist, or at least it's not the people making these tiktok memes
Most if not all of this just reads like generic "SF tech worker riding the hype of current technology XYZ", slotted into the social media mainstream "AI ruins everything"-sentiment. Not sure what the point of this is.
> The responses are generally uninspiring.
How ironic. Writing this entire article and harping on about how the AI Boom is "doing to family dynamics" and how it's "potentially destroying families" via fathers, with barely one paragraph even remotely touching the subject of people getting emotional advice or attachment from chatbots (see r/myboyfriendisai) just comes off as misandrist to me.
Edit: I was curious who the author was, so i clicked around her socials a bit. among the publications she says she worked at, there is ~one piece of media she published in the last 8 years (this one), and the podcast/studio she cofounded/hosts averages ~30 youtube views per episode.
> And then, the men. Neither of my friends’ husbands actually makes money from AI. Not yet.
Wifes of people working on AI and living in the epicenter of AI feel like AI in a country where a lot of people define their life based on how successful are at work feel like AI is talk is intruding in their private lives?
Ironically it feels like an article that mentions AI to ride the AI-wave that it is the source of the bad things it talks about...
Hey, that guy should ask Claude about the future developments of his relationship given how disconnected he is. And then his wife will be able to shout that awful and cold "Wow, looook at that!"
Special note to anyone thinking alterity is useless in the AI era.
I read it (even the snobby bits bragging about drinking orange wine).
Are these people for real, or is silicon valley in some double bubble of middle class techno elitist hell of their own making?
Nobody comes out well in that article, the husbands, the wives, the partners, the social circles.
I am British, I use AI, I love it, but I switch off and talk about tidying up the garden or doing stuff with my wife. Yes AI is flavour of the last few years but it hasn't chopped up my carrots for me, or sprayed weed killer on my monoblock driveway.
Going to just leave this whole story with a pinch of salt.
Yeah I think AI is this amazing world changing technology, and have no problems going days without using it. Some people seem consumed by it in a way I don't understand.
It was Karl Marx who said that technology pretty much determines our culture and society. I largely agree, so I find it strange and un-relatable when people say their lives have not changed as much after AI. AI will affect almost every aspect of your life and society even if you choose to not take part in it.
Good old historical materialism. I don't think even staunch libertarians can argue with it - it's a pretty good mental model to understand societal/political change. After all, we have a tendency to name periods after their defining technology (stone, bronze, ..., steam, ..., information), and the inflection points tend to be pretty dramatic.
A lot of AI fans are behaving awfully lot like cult members.
Standard note for the people in said cult who take every criticism of anything related to AI as a claim that AI is useless in every way: that is not what I'm saying.
Calling AI useless is being kind. I personally think AI is worse then useless. It is consumer hostile and damaging technology, and that humanity would be better off without it. AI is useful in the same way Cigarettes or Amphetamines are useful.
I'd go with "Obsessive devotion to or veneration for a person, principle, or thing."
That's how we get these endless superficial questioning of everything except LLM, like asking how you define $commonly_used_word, or this constant "I know you are, but what are LLM?" stuff, such as Is there any evidence that you yourself are more than a 'next action predictor with a multi-modal context window'?. Apparently no self-awareness, no accountability, and there is barely a conversation where people can simply say something trivially true about LLM, that anyone working on them, even an LLM, could explain to you, that doesn't garner such knee-jerk responses.
I'll be forthright here.
I've realized over time that I don't live the most...focused, goal-oriented life; a lot of what I decide to do is constrained by what I can or cannot do. If I don't have the money, I don't do the thing. If I do and someone asks, or I'm feeling a little impulsive, I will.
In the digital world, there was a ton of stuff I was interested in doing but was unable to accomplish, either because I didn't have the technical knowledge or the time to do it.
AI makes you feel like anything is possible! A lot of people aren't used to the mental model of "having a team of people who can do stuff for you", and there's definitely a way we can get lost in that.
I'm thankful I have a wife that drags me out of my office enough that I think I've reasonably kept in touch with reality, ha.
> I've realized over time that I don't live the most...focused, goal-oriented life; a lot of what I decide to do is constrained by what I can or cannot do.
The human experience. We all share it, many of us spend a lot of time ignoring it or pretending we can overcome it. There are many ways to describe it, and I'm happy for you that you can see it.
> I've realized over time that I don't live the most...focused, goal-oriented life
Freeing as hell though, isn't it? I'm happy for you.
> AI makes you feel like anything is possible!
I can understand that some people feel this way, but it still shocks me how common this feeling is.
I feel the complete opposite. I used to spend hours reading and figuring things out on my computer, but since AI I can't wait to log off and get back to the real world.
The article highlights an actual issue. It sure feels like dotcom boom again (kids don't remember)... Everything is buzzing and demanding to be on the edge. Everything is developing except the real world us.
Yup, this is definitely the latest gold rush. And there will be a lot of losers and some winners, just like every other time.
And anyone who feels the floor being taken out from under them will feel the pressure to join the gold rush, just like every other time.
And it's going to put unnatural pressures on relationships and families, and even destroy a lot of them, just like every other time.
And people will feel resentful and alone and confused, and say that things shouldn't be this way - it's not fair the way things are and where they're going. Just like every other time.
My sympathies go with those who are suffering under this, but when forces beyond your control are threatening your livelihood, you do what you must and hope for the best.
And when there is a gold rush going on, be the one selling the shovels.
I didn't read everything but the article didn't seem to give any details about what's special about AI vs any other obsession anyone might have. If anything, I think it applies more to things like videogames or social networks, I feel they're more addictive and demanding of your time.
The major difference the article presents is the scale of it (in the Bay Area). It is one thing if it is just one or two households in your social circle, it's another if it's half or so.
This is a sub-variant of "phone addiction", isn't it. Or maybe just "guy is really, really into hobby to obsessional levels, to the detriment of the rest of his life". A pattern that pre-dates computers.
https://web.archive.org/web/20261110105045/https://www.wired...
> He desperately wants to work in AI—or feels he must work in AI—and she wants him to do literally anything else.
> Either way, the men go in and the women want out.
Why make this about gender?
It's very apparent if you look at discussions of AI how gendered the response is. Same as cryptocurrency etc beforehand.
ie. ai/crypto-bros
> Why make this about gender?
Because goal is to trigger emotional/tribal response from both sides and thus better "engagement" all while using proven and well established tropes like "he doesnt want to do what she wants", "toddler", "lazy bum vs overworked" etc
>Why make this about gender?
Because that is the entire point of the article?
I work remotely and use the 5-hour limits as a way to avoid AI addiction, seeing them as the world giving a sign to touch grass, be with the wife and so on. This way, they feel more of a blessing than a curse.
What a weird article
> I should also say I didn’t bother speaking to any of the actual husbands for this story. I’m sick of hearing from the men of AI.
That's quite a line after half a page of inferring said men's inner workings and motivations from what their wives and their wives' therapists say about them (quite cynically i might add)
> A tiktok meme has been making the rounds recently: young women at their laptops or doing their makeup, captioned something like, “Working so hard so my man can work on his AI startup that loses $30K a month.” The comments section stands in solidarity: “I’m ded.” “Yas queen.” “Just so he can have ‘founder’ in his bio.” I tried to reach out to some of these women. None bit.
That might be because this person doesn't even exist, or at least it's not the people making these tiktok memes
Most if not all of this just reads like generic "SF tech worker riding the hype of current technology XYZ", slotted into the social media mainstream "AI ruins everything"-sentiment. Not sure what the point of this is.
> The responses are generally uninspiring.
How ironic. Writing this entire article and harping on about how the AI Boom is "doing to family dynamics" and how it's "potentially destroying families" via fathers, with barely one paragraph even remotely touching the subject of people getting emotional advice or attachment from chatbots (see r/myboyfriendisai) just comes off as misandrist to me.
Edit: I was curious who the author was, so i clicked around her socials a bit. among the publications she says she worked at, there is ~one piece of media she published in the last 8 years (this one), and the podcast/studio she cofounded/hosts averages ~30 youtube views per episode.
> And then, the men. Neither of my friends’ husbands actually makes money from AI. Not yet.
But yes. "The men".
Meet the Sad Husbands of Instagram
Wifes of people working on AI and living in the epicenter of AI feel like AI in a country where a lot of people define their life based on how successful are at work feel like AI is talk is intruding in their private lives?
Ironically it feels like an article that mentions AI to ride the AI-wave that it is the source of the bad things it talks about...
Hey, that guy should ask Claude about the future developments of his relationship given how disconnected he is. And then his wife will be able to shout that awful and cold "Wow, looook at that!"
Special note to anyone thinking alterity is useless in the AI era.
I read it (even the snobby bits bragging about drinking orange wine).
Are these people for real, or is silicon valley in some double bubble of middle class techno elitist hell of their own making?
Nobody comes out well in that article, the husbands, the wives, the partners, the social circles.
I am British, I use AI, I love it, but I switch off and talk about tidying up the garden or doing stuff with my wife. Yes AI is flavour of the last few years but it hasn't chopped up my carrots for me, or sprayed weed killer on my monoblock driveway.
Going to just leave this whole story with a pinch of salt.
Yeah I think AI is this amazing world changing technology, and have no problems going days without using it. Some people seem consumed by it in a way I don't understand.
It was Karl Marx who said that technology pretty much determines our culture and society. I largely agree, so I find it strange and un-relatable when people say their lives have not changed as much after AI. AI will affect almost every aspect of your life and society even if you choose to not take part in it.
Good old historical materialism. I don't think even staunch libertarians can argue with it - it's a pretty good mental model to understand societal/political change. After all, we have a tendency to name periods after their defining technology (stone, bronze, ..., steam, ..., information), and the inflection points tend to be pretty dramatic.
Is this satire? Difficult to tell in this age where "women find things to blame" is a genre of prose.
Think it is, as a compensation for writing about some incredibly dull people.
So disconnected from reality as to be difficult to ascertain whether this is satirical fiction.
A lot of AI fans are behaving awfully lot like cult members.
Standard note for the people in said cult who take every criticism of anything related to AI as a claim that AI is useless in every way: that is not what I'm saying.
Calling AI useless is being kind. I personally think AI is worse then useless. It is consumer hostile and damaging technology, and that humanity would be better off without it. AI is useful in the same way Cigarettes or Amphetamines are useful.
What definition of cult are you using?
I'd go with "Obsessive devotion to or veneration for a person, principle, or thing."
That's how we get these endless superficial questioning of everything except LLM, like asking how you define $commonly_used_word, or this constant "I know you are, but what are LLM?" stuff, such as Is there any evidence that you yourself are more than a 'next action predictor with a multi-modal context window'?. Apparently no self-awareness, no accountability, and there is barely a conversation where people can simply say something trivially true about LLM, that anyone working on them, even an LLM, could explain to you, that doesn't garner such knee-jerk responses.